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Category : Writings

11 Jan 2011

The Haunted Castle – The Mirror of Souls – Part 4

I stood up and walked toward the mirror and my head is hanging down and my steps are getting slower and slower, I started to feel some chill even though it was warm, it’s the chill of fear with awe at my inside increasing while I am stepping forward, until I stepped the last step and raised up my head while i am hearing a voice coming from the mirror saying:”look at me.. Look at me”

I looked at the mirror while I was sweating and shaking and once I met my reflection, my reflection screamed so loudly and said: “I’m the one who occupied your mind, dominated your body and changed your world to a place you’ve never ever known before, I uprooted you from the dry desert which only cactus and thistle can live at, the place that no one would ever give a damn about, to plant you next to a lively Forest full of rivers & lakes, I brought you happiness and madness instead of being lost at your sadness and hopelessness, I shined you up in people’s eyes by adding life to your life until I created a person who’s heart beats with love and hope surrounded with people who need that warmth, a person whenever he passes through anyone’s life, he could change & add unforgettable moments to their historical memories in their minds, they will always remember you even when you’re not here or there, you’ve touched their hearts & left a print in their minds, by recovering their hope in life & love.

Wake up and look at me, I am caged in this mirror and you’re out there and you’re the only one who feels me and owe me the favor of holding me inside you, from the moment you were born to the moment I will leave you.
Promise me you will spread my message of love and hope to everyone to make me alive in people’s eyes to the moment that you can no more hold me inside you, wake all these people’s love, care and hope.

be there when someone needs your warmth and help, leave no place to hurt, and once you hurt try to heal it and never give up, there is no big hurt that can heal without a scar but everyone will remember who helped in healing it, and he’ll carry this favor anytime he looks at the scar, at least you saved him up, so no one could put the blame on you, bear and carry on the message of love and hope, forgive and be aware of not taking care of someone at the expanse of many others there, they all deserve you as Hebron, show them it already exists to wake up the muffle features in humans subconscious”

I didn’t know how did I feel, the moment you lose your balance and you can’t stand like everything is rotating around and nothing is stable but you there.
Then suddenly the old man grabbed me and sat me down on the chair and brought me a holy water and said :”Relax.. Relax”
And once I recovered my Awareness
The old man surprised me with his question and said “what did your soul tell you, son?”
I said: “weren’t you there when the mirror was talking to me?”
The old man replayed: “how could I hear your soul and it is yours, you’re the only one who can hear it, tell me and we will interpret your soul’s words”

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11 Jan 2011

The Haunted Castle – Anonymous cemetery – Part 2

I stared at … the clouded sky walking on clammy clay, silly hope is leading me out with freezing tears and chills, walking with hunger & misery steps, I laid to a tree has no fruit or leaves, sprawling garden with no flowers or bees, as long as I have hope but the hope itself is being consumed, I’ve been lost for so long until I lost my feeling of time, all I can feel is darkness and cold, I don’t know how am I still awake for that long, my knees and feet start getting weaker and weaker until my whole body associated to weakness, I set beneath a tree, I closed my eyes for a few seconds to recover my will, and opened them quickly because of a pain, I looked flashy at my hand I found a black cat biting me and trying to pull me, I felt that I slept more than few seconds, but it doesn’t matter how long, I got a sign of hope, there’s a living creature on this earth, I looked at the cat and touched its hair, but as soon as I touched it, it started to walk away, I followed it as it’s my only hope, sometimes I lose its trace but as soon as it comes back, I start walking and following it again, until we reached a cemetery with opened graves and closed graves with gravestones, and my curiosity pushed me to go closer to the gravestones to read it, I looked at gravestones trying to read a name or a date, but I found it blank with no name… no date.

Suddenly I heard a loud strange voice “these tombs for pessimists, who has no hope & try hard to let you lose yours”
I turned back in shock and my words won’t come out, I found an old man with a lamp I couldn’t see his face clearly but he looks familiar to me, I started looking directly into his eyes, is it my end, is he going to kill me, but I felt that time with a strange feeling that this man will save me, he looked at me and said “don’t you know me yet? You don’t know me as I knew you, I was monitoring you all this long, I found out how much will and hope you have, all this bitter of clod, hunger and fatigue didn’t impair your will to stay alive”

I looked at him and my mouth full of words & wonders and said “you’ve been watching me all that long and you didn’t think of giving me a hand?”
But he smiled and said “I came to you when you waive your human instinct”
That time I didn’t realize what he meant, then he get closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder, that moment I saw his face clearly, he didn’t seem like a murder or a killer, his eyes and smile didn’t say that, I felt somehow with satisfaction to him.

He said: “it’s so soon to leave now but I see you’re wet, tired, cold & hungry, trust in me, put all your trust in me ….. follow me …..”

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11 Jan 2011

The Haunted Castle – Cottage of knowledge – Part 3

As I was walking I felt as if I got the whole hope I own and no one could own in this world, since I thought it’s all over just like that, but i was wrong here I am on the way out.
The old man was walking so slow, I just want him to be instant, I asked him to guide me to the way out to run out of there.

He looked at me and his eyes were filled with irony and said “way out? Out of what son?”
Ahh! that old man, I was wondering what’s wrong with him I want to go out, so I remained following him until I noticed smoke in the horizon as it’s string in the air, then the old man told me “old man eyes are just like his memories they are strongest for things a long way off“ so we kept on walking until I realized that smoke is coming from a chimney of a hut then the old man pointed his finger to the hut and said “this is the cottage of knowledge”
He opened the door and welcomed me at his hut by saying “welcome to my home, from now on it’s going to be your shelter from the darkness of ignorance”

I looked at the hut, it’s full of mirrors and papers and there is a very old library with old books, with all of that, the hut was so clean and organized.

Then the old man asked me to have a seat next to the food table
I looked at the food table and it only had one chair, he smiled at me and said me “I told you I am alone”
So he moved the chair to a place next to the fireplace and said “you’re wet son, set here and get some warmth until you dry, then he went inside a room and after a while, he brought some food, it was a strange food but I liked it, and while I am setting next to the fireplace eating, the old man stayed standing and looking at me all the time.

I don’t know how did I look like while I was eating I’ve never ate for so long, all what I cared about is to get my stomach full, when I finished the food the old man laughed at me and said “you’re dried and replete, now you need to take a rest” , while I was feeling so relaxed and comfortable and warm all around me I felt so sleepy that I couldn’t force my eyes to stay open, then he brought a small table and sat in front of me and said
“All my life I’ve been taught how to die but no one ever taught me how to grow old or what experience in life do I own? I’ve been lonely for so long between my ideas and thoughts until I discovered secrets of hope, what attracted me to you and to save you is your will and strength, you reminded me when I was in your age while I was planting my hut over here, I left the world to keep my hope warmth and unbreakable heart, you need to listen to your inner voices you need to lay on yourself and get sure about who you are and how you are, you must believe in yourself no matter how many mistakes you’ve done and how many problems you’ve been through, you got to learn how to stand up when everyone around you is kicking you down, and to survive in seas when people trying to sink you to save themselves up or to get rid of you, you got to be invincible, with the trust in your soul and believe in your behaviors, meet your reflects at the mirrors, with full of respect to yourself, that’s the glory of humans, but remember the one who’s shown right In front of you, got to be shown also to the people as well as to you”

Then he asked me to go and stand in front of any mirror and once I stepped …..

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11 Jan 2011

The Haunted Castle – Locked up ghosts – Part 1

I woke up … surrounded with candles full of light, A warmth as sun, I’ve spent life time at darkness & cold, missing the light and warmth, I began to feel with things I’ve never felt before, I opened my eyes in a Abandoned Place full of old Furniture’s, ashes and dusts i began to explorer the place around with crystal eyes shines to lights, I start cleaning dusts & spider webs at wet corners, and as much as I tried to clean, i couldn’t change the old walls & woods, another words I couldn’t change a bit of what the time has changed, i remained safe until the wind and rain stopped and the night bright up with sun clearing the sky from the clouds, that time i felt full of appreciate to the castle which saved me, but as soon as i got happy, I started to feel selfish and thought for a moment i am the king of this castle and i won’t leave my castle no matter what, just sanctifying for its help to me and appreciating the castle itself, walls of tender & warmth, wooden franchise made for kings, golden chandeliers, no matter how old those stuff were, they yet still beating with life and still worth to stay in that life, suddenly I start hearing strange voices around and household and the objects moved around, i felt it is refusing me as if I’m an opportunistic colonist, and I realized what the castle gave me at the beginning was just because i am a guest begging for mercy and help, but it won’t keep me in to the rest of my days, for a stand moment there i was selfish to myself and think this castle is my home.
Ghosts tried to kick me out, they forgot all the days of my life I paid cleaning the castle and treated me based only on my human instinct.

Suddenly life flashes came to me, hey look at me, why should i stay still in your locked up in an haunted heart & remain in white coffin stained with neglect dust, i drawn to you as moth to a flame, i was lost in the a deadly endless garden, walking alone for miles with heavy boot, looking for the sun light to see my way but i got lost and nowhere out, it was too rainy and windy and i felt really with cold, i saw your castle with candles light, i was so tired and the scare inside me died, cause there was no end to my way of lost, i touched your wet walls trying to find the door in, and when i found it, i pushed it with my heart and survival instinct, i get in and spider webs were everywhere and the rotten walls, i stepped in with fast beating heart while hearing wood sounds while stepping inside i was so tired but at least i found a place to hide in, but now i am done!

Alright it was the time to pick myself and went out of the doors at med night with no candle light of yours, i took nothing from your castle but the feelings of warmth & love, I’m walking out of the doors with no direction, all i know i got to walk on through the rainy and windy med-night, i knew that i couldn’t feel my freezing hands nor my chattering teeth and shivering from cold, the cold was biting my heart while i was looking full of deprivation to the castle, i smiled while remembering the nice feelings & happy moments that i spent inside you, but all these things were gone, but it will remain in my heart & and my brain.

i knocked the door hoping that you feel sorry for me, and pushed your doors with my memories of love & caustic but your doors won’t open anymore, so i took my decision to walk away, saying the castle wasn’t mine & won’t be mine and wrote with my tears on a wet paper “The haunted castle won’t accept anyone but ghosts, and my life still has hope rather than being a locked up with ghosts”.

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01 Jan 2011

wAke Me up frOm the Coma

Everyday i wake and i ask my self “who is going to fell the space in my heart,mind & life time”
i start my morning just like anyone who deserve anything in this world
but my always hope is to wake up just like someone deserve something in this apartment
i go to wash my face .. i close my eyes in front of the water .. i feel like it is going to hurt my eyes
but what i forgot the water is the source of this life
i close my eyes to not to meet the life nerve … my eyes lead me to not appreciate the priceless treasure
i try to open them slowly .. cause i want to know how does it feel when the water touch my eyes and get in to it ..

but i got hurt .. even from the water that make anything & everything on this planet
i start shaving my beard slowly .. and with every time i pass the blade on my soft face i remove the hair which grown because of neglect & passage of time … i was ugly with my beard yes i know .. but i need time to do it .. but when i done it … i change the careless feeling about my self and about people around me
i dry my face with tissue .. for someone else … so i got fumble .. fumble which is going to remain a while
until it’s gone

i switch my Laptop & Tv together .. cause i need to feel there is a life around me .. i need to hear people voices around me .. and i know it is just like the choas … but i need it … i need it to feel i am not alone .. i know i am lieing to my self .. but it gives me what i used to hear before

i look at my laptop .. and fall between the WWW trap .. and the time is running
but i give no care .. cause it gives me everything i want to view instead i don’t have anything else to do but the WWW ..

i make my life in 2 places .. the real life that i live .. the WWW life that i am addicted to

then it become the night .. and i keep awake .. just to fell my passion of spending my time far away of the real life ..

but when i turn off my laptop & Tv … i go to the truth moment .. and the real life
i go to sleep .. and i wish that i will spend in the other world soul long time enough .. to meet the people that i am missing

yes … i sleep to meet souls in the other world …

and finally i wake up .. i start looking about the meaning of my dreams

i really forgot where i am living in .. in the WWW world .. or in the souls world
but what i know .. that even my mirror lied to me when it shows me that i am alive ..

i can only know that i am alive .. by the mirrors
and this mirrors show me that i am still there .. in the world that i completely ignored
i thought that i am going to be someone who deserve care and attention
but even myself doesn’t give a hand with that ….

i start stare at my self .. just like someone who has never seen a mirror before
and i start asking the mirror reflection

what is the reason .. why you still there .. why don’t you go .. just like anyone pass through my life
but my reflection was always trying to tell me .. i am who you are .. and you are who i am
i tried always ignore that reflection .. until i learned the lesson .. that I need to find my self in and out of the mirrors

i learned that:-

The water wasn’t hurting me .. it was trying to wake my eyes up

The bread wasn’t getting me ugly .. it was telling me about the time and how easy it goes

The tissue wasn’t the reason of fumble .. it was warning me .. to not to depend on people cause they will betray .. and let me regrade from that use & suffer of that for a while

The Tv & laptops were giving me everything i want .. but they weren’t giving me myself & my age
i spend a life time on them .. but they unable to give me a moment backward .. they lose me personality as a person who has body,feelings,activities,brain & real life
their chaos voices changed me to deaf
their dishonest Screens changed me to blind

The WWW gave me everything that’s right .. but it doesn’t give me things that i can touch by my own hands … it always feel me that i am lost between it’s pages,sites,videos,music,entertainment
it took my brain,fingers,eyes,ears & life time .. i fall as a slave between it’s webs & the WWW world

The sleeping gave me the rest & send my soul to the world souls .. but it doesn’t show me how to realizable my dreams .. how to feel .. how to taste .. how to enjoy the moment that i lived once upon time in any dream of mine
my subconscious and soul take control of my actions in dreams
i hurt people in my dreams .. and i do many things that i don’t want to cause to the other people souls
but i have no control on even on my dreams …
so to take control of my behavior … i have to sleep for less time .. to not give the space for my imagination to go so far .. to a place .. that i am not able to reach in my daily,monthly & yearly life
i need to freeze that ability … of going so far in my dreams .. i need to put my soul in place which i want it to be .. i want my soul in side my body and under my control … i have to stop dreaming .. i need to wake up … so i will sleep as less as i can

I gives life time for nothing but being out of my real world .. cause the truth always hurt ..
i am in a world .. which self-interest dominated the public interest

no one take care of the others .. just like a broken glass cup … you can’t fix it .. you can’t drink with it
but if you step on one of its small piece it is enough to get you bleed ..

but if you tell the people there is broken glass on the floor .. they will not get hurt ..
but if you clean the room from that .. you’re going to hide the truth of that broken glass

so .. i am here to tell you people .. there is a life .. and i am not going to hide it ..
i am what i am .. i am still exist .. i have mind,body,heart & soul

i have to tell that for everyone .. please people wake up .. the time is running out from you
i need you to wake up with me .. to make a new beautiful place .. where we can live together
and take care of each other .. without hurts & envy … lets say we don’t need it between us
we are all souls .. and one day our souls will go far a way of our bodies ..

what are you waiting for … use your fingers,legs,eyes & ears

how does it feel if you look at a person you love and say.. “i love you” “i take care of you”

stop hiding your emotion .. give the way to your ideas & thoughts .. respect the people around you
finally you will find your self out of this coma
one day you’ll read my note .. and you will regrade the time that you lost
one day ..you’ll regrade the Knowledge of my value
cause i tried to wake you up from your “Coma”

“w(A)ke (M)e up fr(O)m The (C)oma”

A + M + O + C = A M O C “lets mix around the letters”
= C O M A

I hope you believe that i really love you
so let my pure love & care to pass through your heart with these couple of words ..

human beings who are almos(T) unique in h(A)ving the ability to lea(R)n from the exper(I)ence of others are also remar(K)able for their apparent disinclination to do so.

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